Media is very influential in our time and especially among our youth, who are in a phase of vulnerability and self discovery. There are sexual messages everywhere around us most of which suggest that sex is happiness. Not connection and effection but carnal sex. Hollywood lives in a little bubble where sleeping with as many people as possible and giving as little of yourself besides sex to another is the best way to pleasure. The reality is, that is a recipe for sadness, degradation, heartache and possibly disease.
For reason we are now coming to understand through research, this type of disconnection and skewed thinking usually comes from trauma experienced in the past and the coping mechanisms offered and used by those who come before us. To make sure this principle is understood I will try to explain in a different way. Habits are passed on from one generation to the next. Here is how. Children perceive trauma from many different experiences some of which are very real such as divorce or the disconnection of their parents etc… They often interpret those things as “I am not good enough” that is a subconscious thought but get reinforced throughout life. The parents probably don’t have any idea when or why the child feels that way so it gets ignored just like it did for the parent when they were children experiencing difficulties.
As the child grows they find ways to cope and escape the pain and sadness usually by participating in the things the parents do. If you’re a sports fanatic that is probably what your children will do, if you’re a porn addict, a gamer, a gambler, a co-dependant taking on the problems of the world, a smoker, an alcoholic that is most likely what your children will do. Each of these activities offers a thrill of some sort so the trauma victim goes back to that relief over and over, it is normal and accepted by the pears and family so it will become a family tradition whether you like it or not.
How many people disapprove of something their parents did and then find themselves doing the exact same thing? It has to do with the skills your parents passed on to you. We learns skills for every situation we are placed in. Some situations we feel very comfortable and confident, while others we feel quite the opposite. In order to feel comfortable and well one needs to learn new and different skills.
If you find yourself struggling with an addiction of some sort it is probably because you have learned that as a coping mechanism for something you didn’t learn the skills to deal with in a more effective way. Returning to how this applies to our youth is they all deal with trauma and are being taught to deal with those traumas and disconnections by acting out sexually. Sex is the cure the pleasure the maximum happiness. These are the messages portrayed and taught to our youth. There are fantastic resources for our parents and youth to teach in an appropriate and effective way to help our youth fight through the slug of medias messages. The locker room conversations and subliminal messages of social interactions can be defused.
Addiction recovery guide, http://www.salifeline.org out of the shadows.
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